EVER FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING HAPPY?
You’re having a good day. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but you feel light and happy. Mildly on autopilot, but aware enough to notice the beautiful clouds and the feel of the cool air as you walk to pick up your kids from school. The day feels good.
And then an acquaintance walks past you and casually asks, “Hey, how’s it going?”
You respond, “It’s going.”
And your energy nose dives.
Why did I say that? It makes it sound like I’m having a crappy day, or I’m struggling to get through it. I’m actually in a fine mood.
Fine? Wait, wasn’t I happy a few minutes ago? Why, when I happen to connect with a virtual stranger for all of three seconds, do I feel the need to plant my flag in downtrodden/unhappy territory?
What’s up with that?
What’s up indeed. It’s certainly not our vibration. At least not for too long.
Have you ever stopped to consider the fact that happiness is our natural state? A shocking concept. At our most pure and organic, we are created to observe, appreciate, enjoy, experience. Things that we actually don’t allow ourselves to deliberately do very often. They may slip in accidentally here and there as we run the gauntlet of our days, but, for the most part, our energetic set point is fixed fairly low.
What does that mean?
Your energetic set point refers to your emotional homeostasis, where you typically settle without even thinking about it. Simply put, the feeling state you practice most frequently. It’s where you spend most of your time, what you’ve gotten really good at, regardless of whether or not it feels good or bad.
Let’s say you’re in an unhappy relationship and you’re not getting what you want, and you really want to make sure the other person knows how miserable you are. So, every time they walk into a room with you, your subconscious snaps into action and shouts, “Stop being happy, you’ve got to show them how miserable you are!”
No matter what you had been feeling before that, your vibration slumps down to frustration, or disappointment, or resentment. And this happens over and over again, for weeks or months on end until you get really good at it and it comes quickly and easily.
And then, guess what? You’re stuck.
You have now trained your emotional body to live permanently in that low vibrating, negative place. And the crazy thing is that it begins to feel good. It’s what you know. It’s comfortable and safe. And suddenly the thought of feeling happy or optimistic or enthusiastic is as foreign a concept to you as stripping off your clothes and running naked into the street. You just couldn’t conceive of it. It’s too risky. Feels too vulnerable.
We don’t head into a situation or a relationship with a conscious intention to feel like crap about it. Small judgments, limiting beliefs, disempowering self talk…all these things add up over time like a snow drift that eventually becomes a mountain, until you can’t see past it and it’s all you know.
Remember what I said? That happiness is our natural state?
Really stop and think about that for a minute. Look past all the grievances and resentment and judgments that you may have about anyone or anything. Just set those aside.
You are meant to be happy. It is your birthright to be happy. (How’s that for a proclamation?) It is your nature and your genetic makeup. As Mary Oliver famously put it, “You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.”
Whether it’s repenting, seething, gazing longingly backward–whatever it is that you’re practicing with such fervor and dedication, you have got to stop yourself and be honest about the fact that you are investing in–actually working your ass off at–feeling badly. It’s become second nature to you. More than that, it’s become your nature.
Here’s this lovely awareness tied up in a pretty bow and all we can do is feel like shit about it because happiness is not our nature. It might be theirs over there, but it’s not mine.
Oh yes it is. For that one tiny second when you read the words “It is your birthright to be happy,” you released the knot of dedicated negativity. It slipped ever so slightly. Did you feel that? Read it again.
Sure there might have been a twinge of hostility or disbelief that shuddered after it, but for a moment you got to let go of the burden of unhappiness because someone told you it wasn’t who you are.
I am telling you. It is not who you are.
There are support groups out there for every damned circumstance, condition, ailment and addiction. And those are tough to be brave enough to step into. But what could be scarier or more vulnerable than admitting that you aren’t happy? The ONE thing that should come naturally and effortlessly in return for the gift of just being alive.
Your being happy won’t make anyone feel less than, it will actually make them feel more. Your being happy doesn’t mean you don’t care about important things. Your being happy doesn’t mean you are irresponsible. Your being happy doesn’t mean that you aren’t sensitive to those around you who aren’t.
You simply can’t continue to choose an emotional set point that keeps one foot nailed energetically to the ground. You can’t accomplish ANYTHING in your life that you dream of without allowing your natural state of light, abundance, and ease to flow through you.
Happiness isn’t something you get bestowed upon you for doing and saying the right things, pleasing the right people.
Happiness is our human nature. It’s all the other shit that’s an illusion.
Tap into your truth as an extension of source energy who chose to be here on earth living this life. There were no contracts signed attesting to the level of misery you could endure. You are here to be you, in the very best, fullest and most exuberant way you can be.
Sweetheart, you are joy. It is who you are. Begin to let that sink in, feeling it percolate through you like rain soaking into earth. Take it in.
Your birthright is what you say it is. It’s why you are here. Write it down. Make it yours.
Own your happy.
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